In the world of elite sports and sports in general, the journey to the top is often perceived as a physical battle, a test of strength and endurance. Yet, I am positive there are tons of untold stories of athletes grappling with mental health challenges that would reveal a different kind of struggle—one fought within the confines of the mind. This is a narrative of my triumph over adversity, a testament to the indomitable spirit to overcome the high barriers of anxiety, panic and depression.
Elite athletes are often viewed as paragons of physical prowess, but the reality is that mental health knows no boundaries. Anxiety and depression can cast a shadow over even the most accomplished individuals, threatening to derail dreams and ambitions. My my story is not yet one of conquer and it continues to be a daily struggle with demons nobody can see, but I hope this provides you hope and inspiration to push through the dark tunnel and accomplish those great things despite it.
Mine is a journey that took so long to acknoledge, a recognition that something was wrong and that it was affecting my well-being and ability to train and race. I had to understnd that vulnerability was not weakness, but a strength that binds me to so many. I came into this late in life, but we knew someting was wrong after I experinced a traumatic and sudden family trauma that placed me at the center of trying to hold a family together while someone close to me dealt with a sudden mental health break. I did not know that I had an issue a few months later, I was in denial, but everyone around me continued to tell me something was wrong. I was short, angery, would shake with chills and sweat, my heart would race and palpitate, and experiencing uncontrollable emotions.
One key aspect of overcoming these barriers was to seek professional help. I realized it one day late at night and I waited that night to self refer myself to a therapist, as I was still in the Navy, that could see me that day. They realized pretty quickly that the trauma had brought out an underlying anxiety and panic disorder and I had no idea how to control it. The more you work to control it, the worse it gets. It becomes circular and you become trapped in a dark place of not being able to control your own life. I was an athlete and now I am nothing. These thoughts were on my mind every single day, until I decided that I would accept therapy and medication until it was under control, as much as it could be. My race became getting to the start line. Seriously, I would find every reason not to go so that I would not feel the panic attack standing there. My wife helped me break it down into little steps and we would say lets just get the bike on the rack and get to transition and see how you feel then. She would reinforce that the thoughts and overwhleming panic would pass and after the start you wouldn't think about it anymore. This was, and is still, the battle and I am almost exhausted before I even start.
As a high level athlete and Triathlon Coach my message is this: Athletes must understand the importance of a holistic approach to training, and mental health should be no exception. Sports psychologists, therapists, and support networks play a pivotal role in helping athletes navigate the maze of their minds, providing tools to cope with the unique pressures that come with not only competing, but how to manage this in daily life. With anxiety, the unknown is terrifying. Anything that deviates from the already mentally agreed upon plan is terrifying. My anxiety is generalized and unspecified and it can come on anytime and anywhere.
Training your minds is just as crucial as training the body. I use techniques such as mindfulness, visualization, and cognitive-behavioral strategies that have become indispensable weapons in my arsenal against anxiety and depression. Athletes must learn to transform the negative energy into positive fuel.
We must create a culture of empathy and support within the sports community that fosters an environment where mental health is prioritized, destigmatizing the struggles that many silently endure. Sharing personal stories, like mine, creates a sense of solidarity, reminding everyone that they are not alone in their battles and YOU are not alone.
My road to elite athletic and business owner success has been riddled with obstacles, both seen and unseen. Overcoming, if you can really say that, anxiety and depression to compete at this level is a profound achievement. I hope this serves as a beacon of hope, proving that with resilience, support, and a commitment to mental well-being, you can rise above the challenges that threaten to hold you back. The journey will be arduous and it may be frightening, but when you get there you will have a profound feeling of achievement.
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